Please Let Me Keep This

Photo and words by marmar gee

I realize I need to stop living in the past and tinkering with things from happier times.. but i enjoy Polaroids. not just because they’re some trendy medium for artsy farties everywhere, or because old things are ‘cool,’ or even because I’m a broke 24 year old with no money to buy a proper printer to print out my digital captures… but because they’re my childhood, they are memories from a time when things were simple: no bills, no worrying about rent or where my next meal will come from.

Polaroids are one of the last surviving fragments of my family’s history: I have Polaroids from as far back as when my mom was just dating my dad, to my grandparents, to Charlie & I last summer at Rothrock state park. My grandparents died little over two years ago. They were two of the most important people in my life. My grandmother was a WW2 surviver and fled the mountains of the Philippines for Japan. My grandfather was a world class boxer from Puerto Rico. Their faces are not forever gone: even as memories may fade, the Polaroids they took keep them alive.

It’s been a little while since I’ve taken Polaroids: I put them on hold for the year and made the mistake of taking them for granted, assuming they would be waiting for me when I moved back to Rhode Island in the summer. After all, it was waiting for me along with vinyl records, beta & Ramsey Lewis for the past 30+ years.. so what would be one more?

Please allow me to continue to make precious memories no matter how small they may be in the grand scheme of life. That’s me: no frills, nothing special. But it’s me.